I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
