Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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