I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
