she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
