Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
