if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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