Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
