Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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