jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
