8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Can you bring me the toilet please
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
