I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
please come you make the beer taste better
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
