Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
