wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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