There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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