I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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