HIV tests are more positive than that guy
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
