I never want to see another naked old woman again.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
