Swine flu. Run for my life!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
that may or may not have been my penis.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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