i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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