ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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