i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
