I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
