fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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