i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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