Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
