FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
