Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
