GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
