p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
