I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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