if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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