Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
