One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
