I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
