the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
