Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
