So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
