moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
