I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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