Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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