My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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