I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
