Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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