People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
