wrigley field is MILF paradise
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
