Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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