how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize