He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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