I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Who died my cat blue again?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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