i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
