do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
