mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
