I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
