I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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