Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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