the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
