i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
