Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Buhtt sex?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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