We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
