I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
