Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
