before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
